..Hope..

K so two days ago, two of my good friends talked to Dre in there fourth period class about me. I was hoping that he kinda felt the same way I did. I really miss him and kinda want to get back with him. But of course nothing turns out the way that you want it to. He told them that he didnt like me anymore and that he was just over the whole thing. I was really bummed out cause I still really like him and care about him, but i tried to just let it roll off and i tried not to think about it.

But than yesterday I was on facebook and he started talking to me!! I miss just talking to him. I hoping that what he said will change because I really miss him and I just want to fix things! So maybe there is a small hope that things will get better.

..Why Me?..

Why do I put myself through this??? It sucks! I thought I was over you but I guess not. Every time I see you I feel this big black hole in my chest. Someone plaese explain to me why this sucks so bad!! You hurt me so bad, yet I still love you inside, and it hard for me to understand why you wont even look at me. Do you even want to remeber me or was I really that bad? Sorry I still care about you. I hope maybe one day we can actually talk again.

Love you always,

Brianna

..i.n.d.e.p.e.n.d.e.n.t..

“I stand for freedom of expression, doing what you believe in, and going after your dreams.”

-Madonna

“As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.”

-Marian Anderson

Why rely on someone who might leave. To me independence=strength.

..fairytale..

I'm still waiting for that picture perfect, fairy tale ending. I don't believe they exist anymore. I sure wish they did. But instead there the worst nightmare that comes true.

I wish it wouldn't have ended the way it did. Even though I never said it I really did love you. I cared about you so much. And when I brought the subject up that ended it all, I really didn't want it to ruin us. But I guess there was 2 other princesses in the story, well in my eyes they weren't princesses, but I guess you thought they were. So I hope you have fun with them. And I hope now you will see what you had now that you gave it up for a couple of sluts. I mean everything I said to you, even if you don't believe that me.

Just know that I really did love and cared about you. And I hope you felt the same about me.

Hope your fairy tale ending happens for you.

Love,

Brianna.

..random...

Thanks to you all...

Thanks to all the haters, you all just jealous some way or another.
Thanks to all you shit talkers, your the one who looks bad not me.
Thanks to all the fake people, soon you will have no one who will trust you.
Thanks to all the shit talking fake people, I am really glad I know who not to waste my time on.

..Spring Break..

So its the middle of spring break, i thought spring break was supposed to be relaxing just lounging around but reality check its not for me! We will just start from the beginning, so Saturday night we drove the 9-10 hour drive to the tiny town of Yuma Colorado. I got stuck driving the night shift in in the snow, lucky me. The only thing that kept me awake while driving was techno and twizzlers! Even the thought of a twizzler makes me want to vomit now cause I ate so many of them that night! But we finally reached the town where I once lived at 12:30 a.m! I was dead! So i drug the three ginormous bags up the stairs to my room and crashed on my bed! But no i didn't go to sleep, my step brother Eric came into my room just to jump on my bed and piss me off! Eric is 18 but sure doesn't act like it 95% of the time! He finally left after a while and I started to fall asleep but than my phone vibrated and i got a text from my step brothers best friend who i used to i guess have a thing with! It was odd because we hadn't talked since my moms wedding! Me and him like made out after the wedding and than the next day he acted like I wasn't even there! He is a f***ing dick! So we texted for like five minutes that night and than I finally got to go to sleep!
Sunday nothing happened.
Monday though was intense!! Eric came and woke me up at 7 or so and says come help me brand cows, it will be a lot of fun i promise! So I put on the crappiest clothes I had and we went drove out to the field! It was so funn!! Minus my shit cover uggs and jeans!! But it was fun, I had to help hold down the calves while they branded them! Ha I would only hold down the really small ones though! It was a Blast!! That night Trey (the guy from the wedding) and I hung out. We just drove around and talked and stuff and it was fine and everything and I thought we were over all the shit that happened at the wedding. But I guess not.
The next day after I helped my step dad move cattle I went over to the track meet at Yuma High School. And guess who was there. Yup Trey I thought everything would be fine and he would at least say hi and stuff but nope he ignored me like he did after the wedding and stuff. I Don't know how I could have been that stupid to think that everything would be fine. Seems like drama just follows me around no matter what state I go to!! F it I don't even care any more.